One of the habits I’ve acquired this past year is investigating the purpose of everything and everyone in my life. In the past, I ignored and avoided difficult things; now, the more difficult the experience or relationship is, the more I go after it.
By “go after it”, I mean walk toward it with curiosity to learn from it. Inquire why it’s in my life. Ask what it’s teaching me or showing me about myself. Figure out WHY it’s challenging me, and why now. It’s not the easiest thing to do, but it’s rewarding for someone whose goal is to get better at herself.
I used to keep parts of my life distinct. It made life a mysterious, often confounding collection of people and events.
Now that I’m not turning away from challenging things, it’s become clear that there are no such dividing lines. I’ve been working on a (partnered) dance routine that is challenging me in ways I did not expect. I used to keep my dance life separate from work and clients. They were like different rooms in a house; I’d close the door to one of the rooms before opening the door on the other. My gut response to the challenges of this project was, “I don’t have time for this! It’s just a hobby! I’ll have to quit.”
Then I did the new thing and walked toward it: “Why is this in my life right now, why is it challenging me in this way, what am I supposed to be learning from it?”
And I discovered a profound thing: I must be more present in my relationships. I must engage more, and that means doing things that have been uncomfortable in the past. Rather than walk away I must ask for what I need and expect others to meet my needs if they want to “dance” with me. I’m learning – in a visceral, kinetic, REAL way – that when there is equal force on both sides of a connection, the result is more powerful.
I must bring the full force of me INTO MY BUSINESS to create what I intend.
What are you here to learn?
What’s challenging you right now? Pick something that you’ve been trying not to think about because you don’t want it to distract you from “what’s important”.
Spend some time with it – journal about it, think about it, talk about it. Inquire of its purpose in your life. Ask what it’s teaching you that can apply to the rest of your life.
The answer may not come right away, so spend a little time with it every day until the answer does come. It’s so beautiful when it does!